social circle
these days i've been thinking about my social circle.i could still strongly remember my new yr's resolution abt 3yrs ago: to enlarge my social circle.
n yes i did.
ever since i went into poly,
i made tonnes of frens, diff classes, chx, race or age.
but i realise its still not enough.
i am still living in my world.
i dun seem to be connected to them.
i'm sure some of u realise i kinda zone out when out w u all....
or i chose not to? i don't know...
or is it something in me that i couldn't put it down...
i just couldn't let any1 get into my heart.
i nvr told any1 how i totally felt.
i lie often abt how i felt. i nvr voiced out my feelings/emotions.
be it i am upset, jealous or even happy for some1.
i just can't bring myself to say it out.
why is it so? y am i so protective of myself?
am i giving myself dumb excuses to escape from reality?
i've been telling myself...
lyly... its long over. it more then 7yrs ago!
we were still young then. friends come n go.
u gotta move on. that's life! don't you get it?
it's just a small matter. just put it down.
regain ur trust in your friends.
it will be too late for regrets when u lose them...
* n i nearly lose 1 great fren 3yrs ago. but luckily i 'woke up' in time*
*peilin, thanx for voicing out n din juz let me go. i really do appreciate our friendship.
although u may not remember e letter, but i still do. this incident had engraved into my memory this lifetime...*
but still....
anyway, for friends whom really took out your 'heart' to treat me,
i really appreciate.
but i still couldn't treat you the way you all treat me.
i really do feel the love concern u all gave me. i really do.
i just don't know how to express it, nor i want to express it...
i don't wish history to repeat itself
trust? friendship?
what exactly is it?